Casa Mono

Dear Mom,

You never met my friend (and ex-boyfriend) Rob, but you would have liked him. We didn't speak for a while after we "parted ways," but we've dusted off our friendship. I'm glad! We had a lovely lunch yesterday, which reminded me how much fun he is.

And...lest any readers get high hopes he's about to become a regular character in my life again, we talked a lot about his new girlfriend Molly. Things seem to be going quite well with them! They even went to Rio and Buzios together. Too bad we weren't talking back then...I could have given him some travel tips.

Anyway, we went back to Casa Mono, which was the site of one of our early brunches together. That place rocks! The first order of business was picking out a wine...and since it's Spanish, they had a couple of choices from the Basque region...


This was a cider-like wine... at first it was a bit sour, but it really grew on me.

First up: sardines, scallops and burrata. The scallops were pretty fantastic...the parsley really made them pop, and there was some kind of yummy puree under them. (You can tell I was flapping my gums so much I wasn't really taking my usual copious menu notes.) But HOLY COW -- the burrata was AMAZING!




For the main course, we switched to red wine and had some ox tail and lamb. Both were outstanding! Rob wanted the lamb, and I wanted the ox tail. Ordering rabo de toro (bull's tail) when I studied in Madrid is one of my first memories of adventurous eating.



So much fun! Rob is a sweetheart, and we had a great conversation about career transitions and mid-life evolutions. I'm really glad that I tend to stay friends with people I've dated -- you tended to do that too. I think I already told you I made a point of emailing your college boyfriend Jay in December to make sure he knew what had happened.

I managed to run a few errands downtown after Rob and I said goodbye. It's always a good idea to go mattress-shopping when you're a little buzzed, no? More on that one to come!

Saudade,

Lynsley

MLK Weekend

Dear Mom, 

So far I'm three for three in going to church this year. I'm not sure I'll go four for four, since Church of the Village typically starts at 10:30 and is often still going strong at noon. Doesn't that add up to a few skip days?! Today I slipped out early (at noon!), but I'm still really glad I went. 

One MLK weekend at Myers Park UMC, we joined hands and sang "Lift Every Voice and Sing" during Church in the Round. I guess a lot of churches do that, but I'd never really noted it. Ever since, singing that song has been one of my favorite moments of this holiday weekend. Today at COTV may have topped it, as they did not only that traditional spiritual, but also a very lively rendition of Stevie Wonder's "Happy Birthday" to MLK, complete with exhortations to clap and dance along. 

It was really a joyful and joy-filled service...complete with a sermon from this guy: 

Rev. David Briddell was a classmate of Dr. King at Boston University School of Theology. In introducing him, our senior minister, "Bishop J," who used to be the bishop over the New Jersey conference of the UMC, told a story about placing Rev. Briddell over a New Jersey church during a time of high sensitivity regarding a "God Hates Fags" march. 

I constantly go back to the idea that the struggle for marriage equality is the civil rights movement of my generation. You and I talked about that, and you agreed. It makes me really proud to be part of a church that is truly a "reconciling" congregation, open and loving to all who seek God's guidance and God's grace. 

I used the trusty "golf pencil" in the pew to take a few notes, some of which are things that were said, and others are just thoughts I had: 

• Dr. King gave a sermon on "tough-mindedness and tender-heartedness." Need to look that one up! What a provocative thought. Is that our ultimate call as Christians? 
• Is the comfort of surrounding ourselves with people "just like us" the root of racism, sexism, classism?
• Dr. King's legacy: 1. respect for others 2. building peace nonviolently 
• Legacy of God as personal -- a religion founded on gifts and goodness, not sin and depravity.  
• Prophets are those who stand up against unjust power structures. Who/where are our prophets today? 
• Where/How do Christians commit the "sin of silence" today? What injustices are we witnessing and tolerating? 

After the service, I popped into Monument Lane for brunch, where I should have gone with my initial craving and ordered the fried chicken and waffles! Instead, I went with the deconstructed pastrami sandwich, which was interesting but didn't exactly hit the spot. 

However -- what DID hit the spot -- and continued to feed my "mental wheels a'turning" mood -- were two articles in the Sunday NYT.

SundayReview|OPINION

For the Love of Money

By SAM POLKJAN. 18, 2014

IN my last year on Wall Street my bonus was $3.6 million — and I was angry because it wasn’t big enough. I was 30 years old, had no children to raise, no debts to pay, no philanthropic goal in mind. I wanted more money for exactly the same reason an alcoholic needs another drink: I was addicted.

SundayReview|OP-ED COLUMNIST

Obama’s Homework Assignment

JAN. 18, 2014

Thomas L. Friedman

Are we falling behind as a country in education not just because we fail to recruit the smartest college students to become teachers or reform-resistant teachers’ unions, but because of our culture today: too many parents and too many kids just don’t take education seriously enough and don’t want to put in the work needed today to really excel?

Wish you were here to read and discuss them both...

Saudade,

Lynsley

Family Recipes

Dear Mom,

My trusty RFM Cookbook is already coming in handy this winter! Adam's version of Judy Gregory's apple cake was a hit at Quincyfest -- on Facebook and in real life -- so I've posted the much-requested recipe below.

As you know, the cookbook was published around 1990, and it was practically the cooking bible when we first moved to Highland Avenue. Leigh Ann and I couldn't drive, and Ranie would often come down to help us make supper. We'd have to make do with whatever we had on hand in the pantry. So, we discovered a lot of new recipes! Somebody's cheesy rice with mushrooms and somebody's honey curry chicken are two that come to mind.

Va actually took your cookbook, since it's now out of print. I guess they are a hot commodity! I'm glad you got us each one when they were reprinted a few years back. I offered to swap out my clean one for Va, as Ranie and I had slopped batter all over yours, but she said she didn't mind.

It may be a "vintage" product now, but the cookbook is still starting new traditions. In recent years, Grandmama's Velvet Waffles became one of Ranie's family favorites for weekend breakfast! Now, this is somewhat hilarious because no one in the Snipes family even remembers Nina making waffles...though she did have an old waffle iron, which y'all toted to Goodwill when you cleaned out her house. Anyway, Ranie tried out a number of waffle recipes and says Nina's are the very best!

I was so impressed with the results when I borrowed her waffle iron in Quincy the week before Christmas (and Cookie and Matt agreed...Cookie gave it her highest compliment: "Lynsley! You put your foot in this!") that I decided to get my own waffle iron when I returned to NYC.

IMHO the Hamilton Beach version is not as good as Ranie's GE, but I couldn't find hers on Amazon. At $25, it was a pretty inexpensive experiment. I figure if I use it a handful of times, I'll spend less than I would on brunch at a restaurant, where I tend to run up the bill by ordering myself multiple brunch beverages...

Here's the first batch, which I considered a success last Sunday morning before church. Adam gnawed on one before he started the apple cake.

But back to Ranie ("Clarice") and her waffles. You would have LOVED what she posted on Facebook the morning of your service. It was this adorable picture of the boys, with the most clever caption ever.

Grateful that the boys will always have special memories of "Miss Cheryld" just as I will. They are having their own little celebration of her life this morning. In true CSS fashion, see how many reminders of CSS you can find.

Miss Betty answered five, but Ranie called that the "B answer," because she did not include the details, which I supplied: 

Toasting flutes were your wedding present, Spanish book probably Benjamin's baby shower (because we know no one showers second children), velvet waffles from Nina's recipe, trick or treat bag, the traditional Thanksgiving menorah...what are we missing? Do the candles count separately?

Her response:

Ok, so that is the A answer for including the details. The extra credit is really hard. The boys are drinking chocolate milk which was always an option at your house on Saturday morning, but was a runner-up to strawberry milk. I don't think they make that crap anymore.

That Clarice is just too clever! (Incidentally, she said the week after the funeral, Benjamin asked if he could please have his hot chocolate "in that cup Miss Cheryl gave you when you got married." She said he got a big no on that one!

But hopefully Benjamin, William and Andrew will have at least some recollection of the way you would make the whole month of October so special for them, by hiding them a treat each week in the terra cotta pumpkin on your stoop. 

Miss Betty ended up with the pumpkin, so the tradition will continue somehow. "Something old, something new..." right?  

Oh -- and on that note -- Ranie brought over the Tiffany flutes for a toast on my last night in your house (using the Trader Joe's bubbly from the Wimberly sisters), and we agreed our next toast will be a celebratory engagement toast (with Veuve or Dom, natch)! Time for me to amp up the dating life... 

All rightie, I guess that is enough rambling for a Saturday morning. I've been drinking coffee and watching the snow fall as I've written this. Now here's the apple cake recipe! 

Saudade,

Lynsley

Apple Cake

by Judy Gregory, via RFM Cookbook, Circa 1990

Cake: 

1 1/4 c. Wesson oil

2 c. sugar

3 eggs

3 c. cake flour

2 tsp. vanilla

3 c. chopped apples

1 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. salt

1 c. chopped nuts

Beat oil, sugar and eggs well. Sift flour with soda and salt; add to mixture. Add vanilla. Beat in chopped apples and nuts. Bake in 3 (9 inch) pans at 350 degrees for approximately 25 minutes. 

Icing:

1 1/2 sticks butter

1 1/2 c. light brown sugar

1/3 c. evaporated milk

1 tsp. vanilla

Melt butter; add sugar and milk. Bring to a boil. Boil for 3 minutes. Cool in pan of water; add vanilla as you beat.

(Might I humbly suggest that if you enjoy this recipe, you send a little contribution to RFM, in memory of both Mom and Judy's mother, Julia Munroe Woodward, who was such a generous supporter of our little school? Robert F. Munroe Day School, 91 Old Mount Pleasant Road, Quincy, Florida, 32352. GO BOBCATS!) 

P.S. Did I post a photo of the cute napkins Julia brought me on Sunday? I'm getting such a kick out of them! It's funny to me that Patsy likes to keep Jules supplied with party napkins, just like you used to do for us. Do you think she buys her random serving pieces (silver ice cream scoop...silver coffee scoop...silver pie server...etc.) like you did?  

Gosh, Y'all Were Young!

Dear Mom,

You would be so happy at the way many "mamas" are keeping in touch with us even more these days. I need to call Aunt Debbie back and tell her thanks again for shipping me your dishes. And Miss Juliane is sending me your Dean Gioia canopy road painting, which I'm so excited to hang.

One of my "texting buddies" is Debbie Edgil. (The other funny texter is Miss Frances, who texts on her flip phone and admitted, "Suzanne and Rock probably drove from North Carolina to Georgia in the time it took me to text a few of our classmates and tell them about the gathering after your mom's service!")

Anyway, Debbie was in her photo archives the other day, as she and Kerry celebrated their 24th wedding anniversary on Monday the 13th. Can you believe it? That was 1990, a big year for us, as we moved to Highland Avenue that August. Jane & Craig hosted the reception at their "new" house.

Lamar -- always a cutie!! 

Pretty sure Ranie, Mary and Carolyn are all wearing fashions by Etc.!

These ladies look stunning!!!

Mr. Kerry is such a doll. I had a great time visiting with them in their kitchen at Christmas, when I picked up some cookies. They told me the story about how they reconnected after "all those years." It was neat.

It was bittersweet to see Cheyenne's photo pop up with James and JT.

Given the fact that y'all were basically the age Leigh Ann and I are now (Debbie said she and Jane were 39 going on 40), it just makes me realize how YOUNG and FUN you were! I'm sorry you didn't get to fall in love again after your divorce like Debbie did.

As I've entertained friends for supper this week, I've been laughing about the fact that I am closer to 40 than 30, but I still found myself stashing stuff in my bathtub so it would be out of sight from my visitors! (And then I left my beige brassiere dangling from the closet door in front of Travis and McLeod. Oopsie!) It makes me sort of awed at how young you were when you were throwing big dinner parties out in the country. 

Anyway, back on the "your parents had more fun than you realized" note. Adrianne posted something on Facebook recently about the fact one of her favorite "CSS lessons" was that there's always a cute boy in a red Jeep. I told her I knew you would love that! Remember the time you taught us how to "tail" a guy in the big ol' station wagon?! 

I remember once when some gal pal and I were trying to explain something we'd done on Spring Break that we thought was just so crazy and there was no way an old fart like you would understand. You said, "You girls don't have anything on me. I know what Purple Jesus is. I've mixed punch in a bathtub!" HA! 

Love you, Mom, and I miss laughing with you. 

Saudade,

Lynsley 

P.S. Debbie got such a kick out of the Facebook comments I texted her, she sent one more! The beauty of the blog...live updates in real time... Wish you were here for this one.

Guess Who Came to Dinner?

Dear Mom,

My friend McLeod from freshman dorm was in town tonight! He and Travis came over for supper, and I made my favorite Nigella recipe, pork chops with cider mustard sauce and gnocchi.

I put out a little cheese plate for the boys to nibble on while I cooked, with some of my new napkin stash from Patsy via Julia. Note the drunken fig preserves from Holle! (That's a cheddar with Guinness, which we didn't think you could really taste...Maytag blue with fig preserves and Carr's whole wheat crackers is one of my favorite flavor combinations.)

While I was cooking, Travis took a picture and sent it to our friend Ashley, as a sort of "Guess Who?"

I opened the holiday bottle of Veuve I'd been saving to enjoy with Travis and put your Waterford to good use. Nothing like crystal on a Monday! 

As you can tell, McLeod still looks great! He is still enjoying life in Charleston, though Travis and I gave him a good ol' NYC sales pitch should he ever decide to shake things up.

Naturally we had to pull out the freshman pic book (sorry, Nate!). McLeod amused himself looking for anachronistic hobbies (we all had to submit two interests...mine were People & Travel. Imagine that!). The best ones he found were Aerobics & Newspaper. But then we found a girl whose hobbies were Cheerleading & Cattle. That may have taken the cake over the previous winner, Candlelight Dinners & Street Fighting.

We noticed an adorable guy from Maryland and wondered what ever happened to him...and why our favorite Jeopardy champion didn't put Trivia down as one of his interests!

Oh, and then we watched Duke just barely beat Virginia! 

Not bad for a Monday night, huh? 

Saudade,

Lynsley

Quincyfest NYC

Dear Mom,

I bet I was the only person in Manhattan who woke up on Saturday morning, saw the grey, drizzly day, and thought, "Looks like perfect weather to boil and debone some chicken!"

Suzanne inspired me last week, when she made her dad's pilau recipe for the first time. Since Leigh Ann and I had fun hosting "Quincyfest" when we both lived in Charlotte, I thought I'd try doing the same thing with the Quincy gang here in NYC. Adam, Julia and Jason said they were all free on Sunday night. Away we went!

I didn't take many pictures of the pilau coming together, since (a) the first part is kinda gross and (b) a boiling pot doesn't really photograph well. But in addition to making the pilau, I also made a smoked pimento cheese dip. Ranie texted me Sunday morning to say Ina Garten was at Stinky Brooklyn making pimento cheese "in honor of Quincyfest NYC." So, I decided to google p.c. recipes for inspiration and came up with this Jamie Deen smoked pimento cheese one, which I'd say was a real keeper! Instead of making sandwiches, I heated the dip and served it with kettle chips and Ritz crackers.

Side note -- the recipe called for bacon cooked in the oven in a pan lined with foil. This was one of the best "tips" you taught me -- cleanup is so much easier. I taught the boys how to do it in the Hamptons.

Adam was game for being the apple cake master (using Judy Gregory's recipe from the RFM cookbook, of course) but didn't have any cake pans, so he came over in the afternoon and used my kitchen. (And the KitchenAid you gave me.)

We both got pretty excited once it started to come together. It smelled so good, I wanted to lick the air!

VERY impressive, and it tasted fantastic! I'm not sure I've ever made a cake that looked so lovely! Julia and Jason came over at 6, and Julia surprised us with her mom's famous carrot souffle (which is also in the RFM cookbook!). She did Patsy proud. It was perfect! And the silver casserole dish from her roommate was just adorable. Points for taste, texture AND presentation!!

(Oops, I forgot to get a picture of the finished dip, as we were too busy attacking it with chips. Jason picked up a surprise package of some scrumptious paper-thin proscuitto, which was delicious with the pickled okra I'd nabbed when I scooted back to the store to get bread & butter pickles.)

Jason also brought us Brooklyn beer, which was a great idea -- a nod to the flavors of NYC as we celebrated our the flavors of our "homeland."

Anyway, here's a picture of the main course. Miss Betty may dock me for going over my FOUR allotted Saltines... Oh, also, next Quincyfest we're going to have to get some better slaw! Shanna said she knows how to make Chandler's slaw, so maybe I can get her to slip me some tips.

Jules also brought me some of her cocktail napkin stash. Patsy keeps her stocked with festive paper goods just like you used to do for Leigh Ann and me. We used the 'Nole ones in celebration of the championship game, but I now have a collection of "______, y'all!" napkins for all seasons. See, Miss Patsy told you she was gonna look out for us when you were gone!

Mark and Patsy also sent me some "'Nole flair" for my place! (Oh, also, I tried to dress in the most "Quincy appropriate" t-shirt I could find, so I wore my Carioca t-shirt that plays off the Coca-Cola logo.)

I had teased Julia that she could get extra credit by bringing Styrofoam containers for leftovers. She won another blue ribbon by bringing a bunch of Rubbermaid containers, so everyone took some goodies home for their roommates and colleagues. 

We had a lot of fun posting on Facebook as we were getting ready. You would have just loved it. Especially when Julia posted she was on her way with a "surprise dish." I could just picture how you would have followed along as home. It made me miss you so much! But I knew you would be so proud of me for getting everybody together. 

Saudade,

Lynsley

P.S. Bird posted the recipe on Facebook, so here it is if anyone wants it. I feel like you would want me to give a "plug" for the West Gadsden Historical Society cookbook, which has this recipe along with Eddie Boo's Brunswick stew and assorted other Greensboro flavors. 

Chicken Pilau

1- Whole chicken or 10 leg quarters seasoned, boiled and boned. (save stock)

½ - Bell pepper chopped

1- Onion chopped

4- Stalks of celery chopped

1- 10 oz package of yellow rice (about one and a half cups)

1 ½ c. - white rice

12 c.- Chicken stock add water if you don’t have enough stock.

Boil and bone the chicken removing all bone, skin and knuckles. Return chicken to pot with stock along with chopped vegetables and boil until thoroughly done and falling apart. Add rice and season to taste. Cook until rice is done. Add additional water or chicken broth as necessary (in small amounts ¼ cups) if the rice isn’t completely done. If you desire a gumbo consistently stir frequently if not let it cook undisturbed stirring only occasionally to prevent sticking. Makes about 1 gallon.

Holiday Social Circuit

Dear Mom, 

At Thanksgiving, we talked about the fact you didn't want to leave us at Christmas. Although it was a terribly hard week, and I know Christmas will always feel bittersweet, there were some unexpected blessings to the way things played out.

One was the fact that we were able to enjoy seeing a lot of people who love us and care for us at various Quincy social events. When Leigh Ann got home, the first thing you said to her was, "What did you bring to wear to the Sawano Club?!" She was pretty surprised, as the dance certainly wasn't the reason I'd told her she should move up her planned arrival. But that joy for seeing us mingle in "The Q" is one of the things we loved most about you, as we said in the eulogy.

So, that Saturday night, we gussied up and headed out to the big ol' red clubhouse. We took what may be the last formal shot in the "traditional picture-taking spot" under our portraits in your living room.

Notice I am wearing the consignment store Givenchy heels I bought in Dallas with Babs, which Anne Jolly Thomas said were definitely the best shoes at the party! (Dress from Espana, purchased in Santiago after I finished my big walk.) 

We had such a nice time at the dance. It was great to catch up with my "first husband" Ashley, and Elder's husband Ben pulled out a little redneck flair for our photo. 

I promised Miss Densyl I wasn't going to post this photo on Facebook, but maybe I can get away with putting it on the blog. It's not a great shot of either of us, but it reminds me of a happy moment in time.

The next day was Sunday, so we headed to Jessica's for the annual Cookies With Santa party, which she and Ranie do such a great job of hosting. The kids are adorable all dressed up in their holiday outfits. 

We were relieved Santa was not enforcing an age limit... 

Quite a change from our last photo shoot at the Northwood Mall in the early 80s! Though I am tickled to note we sat on the same knees without even realizing it...

Two days after your funeral, Ranie and I dropped by Kay Edwards's house to return her brass container for the altar flowers. She asked what we'd planned for New Year's Eve and suggested we stop by Mack and Dianne's house, as she was coordinating their party and thought we'd enjoy it. I'd always wanted to see their gorgeous house, so we gate crashed. I took Miss Dianne a memento from your dresser as her hostess gift. Mr. Mac showed off his game trophies from Africa and got Byron Spires to snap a shot of us in his library.

We also hit the school gala at the Golf Club, but we forgot to get a photo there. I'm very sorry we didn't get a shot of ourselves amusing ourselves in our furs!

Speaking of fur...I know you were totally grossed out by that mink coat Leigh Ann bought me for $40 at Christ Town. ("Don't bring that thing in my house! It probably has fleas!"...and then there was Va's quote: "Do you think it might have belonged to Sister Baby? Is it mink? Or maybe something else, like possum?") But I think it's a hoot!

I wore it to the Old House on New Year's Day...but then proceeded to hear it get a big ol' rip in the shoulder. Maybe it's suffering from dry rot?! I need to get it repaired but can't put more into it than Leigh Ann spent purchasing it.

Anyway, it was JT's birthday party, and it was so much fun. Ranie had done an excellent job of playing "the peacemaker" all week and helping LAS and me avoid getting crossed up. So, I insisted we pose for a good ol' "Martha, Mary & Jesus" shot.


Somehow Ranie doesn't recall the Lenten luncheon at Centenary in the late 80s where you and Betty provided the devotional (re: entertainment). It was a skit of the three of us acting out the Bible story where Jesus has to play referee between Martha (the hard-working sister who is slaving away in the kitchen) and Mary (the social chatterbug who is providing entertainment in the living room). 

Can you imagine why that story possibly would have been relevant to us that week?! HA! Aunt Judith did  a great job of gently reminding us to respect each other's unique grief process. And I think we both realize our differences are quite complementary in many cases, though we both need to take turns switching roles from time to time. 

Naturally the menu included the traditional New Year's Day foods, plus an appetizer platter of Gretna pate. 

I teased JT about not having any squirrel or Vienna sausages, but I guess those are reserved for "boys only" events.

You would have loved it all. I'm sad you missed it, but I'm grateful you left us with so many fun friends and such a strong support network.

Saudade,

Lynsley