Remembering Aunt Sandy

In Loving Memory of "Sandy"

Sandra Sue Smith Higdon

July 24, 1944 - November 3, 2018 

Unity Church, Tallahassee, Florida 

Good afternoon. We are Sandy’s nieces, our dad is her brother, Tommy. 

Whether you played with Sandy as a child, raised your children with hers, worked in real estate with her, knew her in recovery, or knew her in some other way, we are grateful you’re here because Sandy treasured her friends – many of whom were just like family. 

We’ve loved reading and hearing people’s tributes in recent days, with people commenting on Sandy’s wit and love of a good laugh. Her friends remember Sandy as a believer in fighting the good fight for the causes she believed in, with a big grin, a sassy attitude, and a hearty laugh. She was brilliant, funny, generous and loving. She used those gifts in her work as well, and someone called Sandy “the finest realtor they’d ever known.”

And what might be our favorite post this week from Aunt Sandy’s beloved Facebook: 

Even though we’ve never met, I will miss you. Please know you were loved and admired by many. 

If you’re here today, you already know Aunt Sandy was a person with lots of opinions. Her physical trainer loved her even though he said, “She wouldn’t listen to any of the workouts I had planned. She just would do what SHE wanted to do.” 

Maybe you saw the pillow she had in her living room: 

YOU CAN AGREE WITH ME…

OR…YOU CAN BE WRONG 

If you ever met either of her parents, you know Sandy came by those strong opinions honestly.  Her mother liked to say that she raised four chiefs and no braves. As a little girl, Aunt Sandy was quite the tomboy, and her favorite playmate at home was often our dad. 

One day, after a long afternoon of playing cowboys and Indians in the yard with Dad, Aunt Sandy sat down for supper. Her mother looked around the table. “Where’s Tommy?”

“Oh, no!” Sandy said. She hopped up from the table and took off running to release Dad from the pine tree she’d left him tied to for HOURS. 

We had to ask Aunt Tillie what on earth it meant in the obituary when it said Sandy liked “bottling snakes.” We heard some of you were curious about that also. Well, Sandy and her buddy Glenn Brandon would roam the woods together, going into the creek closest to the house, reaching their hands up into the roots under the water to find snakes and put them in a bottle or a jar to study them. One of her classmates said they laughed at their 55^threunion last year about the way Sandy was one of the boys until about 7^thgrade, playing kickball and tackle throwback ball right alongside them. 

Another boy Sandy liked to hang around with was Max Fletcher, who was about 15 years older than her. He was her kite-flying buddy at the beach. She was a little girl when he got married, but that didn’t stop her from knocking on the door and asking his new bride could Max please come out to play? 

She was a daredevil and loved a challenge. Once, some kids were jumping from the rafters of a barn and catching each other. Unfortunately, the girl who was supposed to catch Sandy backed up – and there was a board with a nail sticking up out of it right where Sandy landed. She split her tongue but proudly called it her “snake tongue” – and showed off the squiggly line from where it grew back together for the rest of her life. 

Aunt Sandy continued to put her country roots to good use when she became a mother to Ashley and Susy. One day, Ashley came inside the house to tell her there was some kind of big ol’ rattlesnake or a copperhead out in the yard. Well, like any good mama would do, she went and got her shotgun. She had Ashley clinging to one leg, and Susy the other, but she aimed and tried her best to shoot that snake dead without blowing a hole in the side of her house. And when she did it, Ashley hopped down and ran over. “You got it, Mama! You really got it!”

But another time, things didn’t work out quite so well. In the mid-1970s, Sandy and her friend Judy were fishing on Saint George Island. Sandy was proud to show off her new Chevy Blazer, with its indestructible four-wheel drive. 

While the women fished, Ashley entertained himself digging holes in front of and behind every single wheel in that vehicle. 

Susy ran to her mama and tattled. “Mama, Ashley’s digging holes in front of the wheels to get you stuck on the beach.” 

“I’m not worried,” Sandy said, focusing on her fishing pole. “You can’t get that thing stuck.” 

When they got loaded up and ready to leave, she pulled forward, and BOOF. The truck was sitting in the sand on its axles. 

Ashley still remembers how furious his mama was that day. But he also remembers she wasn’t mad at him, since she told him there was no way she could get that thing stuck! We think that might be one of the few times she actually had to admit she was wrong about something… 

We all know Aunt Sandy could be quick tempered. Some of her longtime colleagues said as bad as Sandy was about blowing up, she was just as good about apologizing. Although one of her apologies was extremely short and soon moved on to, “I have a listing with a decomposing squirrel I need you to take care of.” 

One of her friends said she was confident Aunt Sandy went straight into heaven. There were no penalty points for the colorful language she was known to use. But -- just in case that’s not true, since we are in the house of the Lord, as we share some work stories, we’ll be using the words “GOOD DAY” instead of another expression with a “G” and a “D” you might have known Aunt Sandy to use. 

Realtors often ask each other for feedback to help sell houses, but Aunt Sandy wasn’t a big fan of that process. One time a newbie realtor who was unaware of Aunt Sandy’s dislike for feedback called her to ask about a house Aunt Sandy had shown that day. Sandy cut to the chase. “Did I submit to you a good day offer? Well, then, there’s your good day feedback!” 

If Sandy toured a house that she didn’t like at all, her feedback would be short and to the point: “Two things -- Kerosene… and a match.” 

A colleague said Sandy would give you the shirt right off of her back – until you made her mad. Then she would TAKE the shirt off of YOUR back.

But she would always look out for her clients. Someone who worked with Sandy on the sale of a very small house told us it didn’t seem to matter if you were selling a $50,000 house or a million-dollar house, she was going to help you the same way. 

For years, Aunt Sandy had two phones – one for business calls, one for personal calls. 

One day, she was talking on both phones at the same time and got confused which call was which. 

To the business associate who had the nerve to call her personal line, she said, “How did you get this number?” 

“You gave it to me,” the woman said. 

“OH.” Aunt Sandy said. “Well, you must be closer to me than I think you are.” 

Aunt Sandy finally gave up the infamous duct-taped blackberry and switched to an iPhone. Late one evening, her friend Sandy was surprised to receive a FaceTime video call. Staring back at her was a half-dressed, makeup-free Aunt Sandy, wandering around her bedroom. “What are you doing here?” Aunt Sandy said. “How did you get in there? Can you see everything? Have I been doing that to everybody?” 

Technology might not have been Sandy’s gift, but she was a talented mentor, with a generous spirit for helping others. She helped numerous people as they got started in real estate – family, friends and colleagues like our cousin Mary Beth said they learned from Sandy’s counsel and treasured any chance to talk real estate with her. Sandy’s generous spirit for helping others also led her to sponsor people in recovery, and to support causes and organizations that touched her enormous heart. 

There was a place for many of us inside that big heart, but there was no one she loved more generously and abundantly than her three grandsons: Austin, Corey and Maison. At Christmas, Sandy transformed into Gammy-Claus, and she loved to make their dreams come true.  She loved spending time with them, especially when that time was in her beautiful beachfront condo in Seagrove Beach. It was decorated with a sign Sandy loved to quote: “If you’re lucky enough to be at the beach, you’re lucky enough”

Seagrove and Saint Marks were her happiest places, and she loved pulling the slots at the Beau Rivage or any other casino, but her travels took her far and wide, from cruising to Bermuda with friends, seeing the Panama Canal with her brother, exploring Spain and Portugal, sweating her way through an eco-lodge in the Amazon, collecting stamps in her Florida parks passport, and too many others to count. 

Her most recent trip was three weeks on the road with her sister Tillie. Before their departure, the cousins were placing bets whether they would make it, and who might fly home early – Thelma or Louise. Instead, as we all saw on Facebook, it was a beautiful trip, full of special memories for both of them. 

And…speaking of Facebook… 

Aunt Sandy wasn’t shy about sharing her opinions, either in person or on social media. She joked at a Memorial Day cookout that she figured even her family members were hiding her posts on Facebook. 

Now – if you are on Facebook -- we imagine y’all had the same reaction we did when you heard she had died so suddenly.

Oh, Lord – what was her last post? 

No matter how you felt about her politics or opinions, you couldn’t help seeing she was a big-hearted, caring person who stood up for what she believed in and did not hold back in voicing her concerns. No wonder the bumper sticker on her car reads: Choose the path of most persistence.

As her longtime friend Sue wrote, “Anyone believing she will rest in peace is forgetting her humor, energy, passions, love of life, and her desire to right wrongs and always help others. She had the courage of her convictions. She will be with us always.”

And her final Facebook post was one to treasure.  She put a beautiful sunrise picture taken at her beloved Seagrove Beach, Old Glory flying high, and she gave us a challenge to carry forward. These were some of her last words to us, and they’ll be the last words we’ll leave with you. 

There is so much beauty in the world. We must continue to seek it ....

There is so much beauty in the world. We must continue to seek it ....

There is so much beauty in the world. We must continue to seek it ....